23rd June - Elizabeth Beach to Port Macquarie

Nigel says ...We have had a good day today cycling 135kms (84 miles). Good roads, quick progress and into the motel by 1630hrs. We both feel like we have had a day off!

We departed "Brigadoon" at 0730hrs and headed towards Forster. The Pacific Palms Resort were really good to open up for us out of hours last night and it looked like a nice place to stay. We were eating bacon and egg mcmuffins in Forster by 0830hrs.

We then headed north towards the Pacific Highway (approx 30kms) where the plan was to cut across country to avoid the highway. We started the route, but Gordon overshot a junction and ended up at the Pacific Highway. When the correct track was pointed out to Gordon he started twitching, flinching and foaming at the mouth as it had some gravel on it. To avoid a total collapse in morale and further bruising to our backsides, we decided to stay on the Pacific Highway - which in retrospect was exactly the right decision. The Highway has wide shoulders for cyclists nost of the way, the road surface in this stretch was mostly excellent and we were able to get up some real speed. The prospect of an early finish was very attractive, and we pedalled hard to arrive in time for tea at port Macquarie.

The smooth road conditions today have certainly contributed to a stabilisation of the "Butt Situation". An uneven road surface increases the refrain "Oh my arse" exponentially. Gordon and I have an unspoken competition as to who will complain about his sore backside first in the day. Gordon broke this morning at 0830hrs whilst eating his Mcmuffin.

The Butt Situation will become an area of increasing importance and significance in the days to come. My "Butt Management Strategy" has the following elements:

• Decent saddle - measured to fit my butt.
• The best padded cycling shorts money can buy - My Sugoi shorts protect the parts other shorts don't protect as well.
• Soothing Balm applied each morning.

Tomorrow we go to Urunga (approx 130kms) Morale good - Japanese meal tonight I think.

Gordon says ...

The first days cycling I've really enjoyed to date - I think I'm finally completely over the virus. We scuttled our way across a variety of Nigel's 'shortcuts' in the morning, running parallel to the Pacifiic Highway. I was told to turn right at a particular point, but as I was some distance in front, when I noticed it was some gravel/mud shit track again, I just peddled past it (for God's sake, wasn't yesterday enough?) In spite of Nigel's quivering bottom lips (he loves his little off road adventures - '... if was just cut our way throught his bush, I'm sure there's a track here somewhere ...') I set us out on the main highway - bliss - wide cycle lane, hot mix surface - I felt right at home. Without pushing very hard at all, I could sit on 25 kms/hr, and for once the kms just whizzed by (Yes ... as a roadie, I know that's still crap, but the bike weighs 20+ kgs, and the tyres are knobbly ... and I'm tired). Even Nigel got his bike up to about 16 kms/hr - for short bursts.

Most importantly, for me anyway, my arse immediately stopped hurting. I didn't realise how much the road surface was related to the pain-levels. I was finally able to zen-out, and think of more important things - like how much I'm already missing my family and friends. Long distance cycling is an inherently lonely business - you don't get to chat while peddling - and even when you stop, you're normally too shagged to engage in small talk. Nigel is lucky, he doesn't seem to get down - probably because he seems to have no inner mental life at all. Actually, I tell a lie, he been a biit miserable because his attempts to get Louise (his wife) Wimbledon tickets for her fiftieth have just fallen in a hole. I told him he should get her what she really wants - a divorce.

Got some good news from Belinda at our midday stop - apparently we got an ARC grant - which should allow me to go for promotion next year, thereby breathing a small bit of life into an otherwise utterly stalled and largely insignificant academic career. Needless to say, fate doesn't allow you to be happy for too long - we also got our reviewers comments for a larger discovery grant, which were startlingly average. Shit.

I spent the next 30 kms contemplating the hideous process of applying for promotion - by the time we got near Port Macquarie, if felt like spewing again at the thought of the whole grotesque, self-aggrandising nightmare ahead. Eventually, I figured ... sod it, I'll worry about all that next year ... and thought about unit planning instead. What a small life I lead.